2017 is upon us! Can you believe it?! After all the tweets and Facebook updates deeming 2016 “the worst year ever,” it’s exciting to turn over a new leaf, start a fresh calendar, and let go of the past year’s trials and troubles to whatever extent we can.
New year’s resolutions are a fiercely debated practice. Some say they’re helpful encouragers that push us to become our best selves; others say they’re arbitrary pressures we impose on ourselves that only end up making us feel bad. But if you’re feeling the New-Year Itch and craving a shake-up to your routine, here are some goals and resolutions you can set for your sex life in 2017...
Try a new type of sensation.
Never used a vibrator? Might be worth a shot! Dabbled in realistic dildos but never even held a glass one? You might surprise yourself with how much you like it. Never tried a cock ring (vibrating or otherwise)? It could very well revolutionize your sex life. The sex toy industry is ever-expanding and always trying to deliver unique new sensations to consumers, so it’s worth poking around to find something you’re excited to experiment with.
Investigate a new kink.
Sexual psychology is a fascinating thing: for some people, it stays relatively consistent their whole lives, while others seem to discover a new kink around every corner! Delving into a kink that’s new to you could breathe new life into your fantasy landscape. You could start by reading some instructional kink books, kinky erotica, or even X-rated fanfiction – or you could jump right in by buying a kink product and trying it out with a partner who’s game to experiment.
Learn new things.
The internet is a near-infinite resource for new information on just about any topic you can dream up. Whether you’re curious about the physiology of orgasm, aching to learn how to write thrilling erotica, or fascinated by the psychological motivations behind clown fetishes, there’s lots for you to learn. Google, bookstores, and libraries can point you in the right direction to sate your thirst for knowledge.
Improve your sexual health.
Many people are hesitant to prioritize their sexual health, because talking to doctors about this stuff can be understandably nerve-wracking. That said, there are lots of things you can do on your own that will amp up your sexual health. Exercise your pelvic floor muscles regularly, upgrade your toxic sex toys to body-safe ones, buy a lube containing fewer chemicals, do regular self-exams of your breasts or testicles… An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!
Be more present.
It’s amazingly easy to zone out during sex or masturbation. This is especially true if you’re stressed about difficult life circumstances, anxious about how you look, or worried about your “sexual performance.” But of course, sex is more enjoyable for you and for your partner(s) if you can find a way to stay in the moment, fully present and focused on what’s happening. Read up on mindfulness techniques, pay attention to your breathing, and do your very best to stay aware of what you’re feeling at every moment. It gets easier with practice, and will increase your pleasure exponentially!
Stop pressuring yourself.
Seems incongruous, maybe, to list this point among other resolutions which basically amounts to pressuring yourself to do better and be better. But if you’re an overachiever throughout your life, maybe your new year’s resolution should just be to give yourself a free pass to relax when it comes to sex. It’s okay if you don’t have a million orgasms, contort yourself into challenging new sex positions every time, or work tirelessly to “keep things spicy.” Sometimes the best sex results from just relaxing, pursuing what feels most fun in the moment, and seeing what happens!